Lao She

The Lao She Memorial Museum in Beijing published a book about Lao She (老舍, pictured), a collection of the literary giant’s ruminations about his own life, some of which I found delightfully endearing. (老舍这一辈子,老舍纪念馆, 2006)

Lao She came from a poor family and was weak as a child; hence he did not enter school until he was nine. Prior to nine, he could not read a single word. He was reportedly taken to school, “much like an unrespectable puppy” (像一条不体面的小狗) by a wealthy relative.

Describing his time in England during his late 20s, Lao She mused that his English was so good that “I could speak it such that it doesn’t sound like English, neither does it sound like German” (我的英语就很好。我能把他说得不像英语，也不像德语。), adding that “I could artistically mix some English words into Chinese characters, like putting a chicken and rabbit in the same cage. The English made me bewildered with what they had said, but I can also speak to them such that they couldn’t stop blinking their eyes. They understood what they had said, and I understood what I had said. That’s more than adequate.” (我很艺术的把几个英国字均派在中国字里，如鸡兔之同笼。英国人把我说得一愣一愣的。我可也把他们说得直眨眼。他们说的他们明白。我说的我能明白，也就很过得去的。)

With the London subway, Lao She mused that “if I want to head to hell I will have no worries whatsoever.” (有了他，上地狱也不怕了) He noted that even “if the English hardly smiled and looked as if they were going to cry, deep down they are downright humorous.” (脸板得要哭似的，心中可是很幽默)

Lao She said he started writing at 7 in the morning but by 9 am “panting would become extremely exhausting.” (九点以后便连喘气也很费事了) “To be so engrossed in writing is a joy, even if what had been written is nothing to speak of. (能写入了迷是一种幸福，即使所写的一点也不高明。) Such self-deprecation. Love it.

The realities of working as a writer who had to support a family meant that materials intended for longer pieces of work had to be used for shorter pieces to generate an immediate income. This, according to Lao She was depressing as “what was intended for wholesale distribution had ended up as retail sale.” (由批发而改为零售是有点难过)

On fatherhood, Lao She was almost hilarious when he noted that “just when I thought I had come up with a line that would put Shakespeare to shame, the little one will pull at my elbow and whispered “shall we go to the park to look at the monkeys?”. This is why till this day I have not become Shakespeare.” (我刚想起一句好的，在脑中盘旋，自信足以愧死莎士比亚 。。小济拉拉我的肘，低声说“上公园看猴？”于是我至今还未成莎士比亚。)

“The worst was when the little fatty started teething. That was really unbeatable. Not only was he merciless in the day, he even worked the night shift … When he was teething, no one should think of getting any sleep. When his teeth were all out, everyone had turned into red-eyed tigers (through lack of sleep). (遇上小胖子出牙，那才真叫厉害，不但白天没有情理，夜里还得上夜班 。。他出牙，谁也不用打算睡。他的牙出利落了，大家全成了红眼虎。)

Lao She claimed that if he slept early, he slept like a log. “Even if someone carried me away I wouldn’t have known.” (有人把我搬了走我也不知道)

On the undeserved reputation of dogs in Chinese vocabulary, Lao She felt a sense of injustice, arguing that dogs are loyal, brave and faithful creatures, and wondered why traitors are called “running dogs” (走狗). He noted that cats are lazy and would leave their owners if no food were provided. So why shouldn’t traitors be called “running cats”(走猫)instead?