Pitfalls of Chinese Matchmaking Agencies

If you have a hunch that matchmaking agencies in China are dubious and unscrupulous, you are right.

In ads placed across the country, these agencies would place enticing advertisements to grab your attention, but a sub-standard alternative would be offered. The main aim of these agencies is of course to make money, with successful matchmaking far from their minds.

According to Chinese writer Tu Qiao (涂俏) in 生存体验, 当代中国边缘阶层生存状态实录 (Experiencing Survival - A True Record of Survival Among The Marginal Class in Contemporary China, Xinhua Publishing Press, 1999), a typical ploy consisted of placing an ad of an attractive-looking, rich and successful individual looking for a spouse. Once you call or visit the agency, staff would find ways to induce you to sign up as a member.

They would invariably tell you that the advertised person had already been "snapped up", but other equally well-qualified candidates were available for viewing once the membership fee is paid up. And when the first matchmaking session is arranged, it is usually with someone who is a friend/relative/contact/associate of the agency - in other words, paid actors who are neither rich nor successful.

Seizing on the many lonely hearts in big cities, agencies would promise prospective customers that "someone suitable and with outstanding qualities" would be introduced to them. But once the membership of at least 400 RMB is paid up, the chances of being called up for a second meeting is low. The only exception is when you are being used as a "bait" to induce someone else to sign up as a member. In which case, you will be called up, and the person who is interested in meeting you will have to pay up the membership fee before he or she can meet you. This usually isn't so bad, since both parties in this case are genuinely keen to meet someone new.

As for the paid actors, they were told not to spend too much time talking to customers, so that they can "have more time to meet other customers" - meaning that the less time he/she spends talking to one person, the more people the agency can hoodwink.

Even though many customers felt either cheated or shortchanged, there is usually nothing much they can do. For instance, an agency once promised to introduce a "Korean businessman working in China" to a female customer. But when the meeting took place, the customer knew that something was not quite right, as the purported "Korean businessman working in China" did not look, speak, or had the mannerisms of a "Korean businessman." And after 5 minutes of "meeting", the "Korean businessman" would invariably come up with an excuse, for example he had to rush to the airport to catch a flight. By then, all the agency can tell you is that "if the Korean businessman is interested in you, he'd call you" (but of course, he'd never call), or something to the effect that "perhaps there is no chemistry between the Korean businessman and you."

Agencies owners were invariably unashamed of their brazen dishonesty. One such owner even had the audacity to say: "这些男人都是心术不正的, 想找富姐, 富姐那么容易找的吗? 也不撒泡尿照照, 我们这样做, 是为社会除暴安良."

("These men have crooked minds and hearts. They want to find rich women. Is it that easy to find rich women? They should piss and look at themselves in the urine's reflection. What we are doing is to rid society of evil.")

Another agency owner said: "说我们骗人, 那些被骗的征婚者也活该. 自己的条件不怎么样, 反过来都希望找富哥富姐, 成功人士, 他们也不想想, 成功人士怎么还会找不着对象呢? 所以, 我们赚他们的钱, 也赚得心安理得!"

("If you say we are cheating people, why don't you say that those who come to us deserve it? They do not have outstanding qualities, yet they wanted to look for rich men or rich women. Why don't they think for themselves, if a person is successful, why can't he or she find a spouse? Therefore, we feel there is nothing wrong in making money from them!")

God help the lonely souls in China!